Friends

When you're in school it seems so easy to make friends. You are all forced to be at the same place for roughly 8 hours or more a day. It just seems natural that you would become friends with people around you. After school ends though, there isn't a whole lot holding you and your friends together, so oftentimes you slowly drift apart. Maybe you meet occasionally, but even that seems to slow down to a stop. In my mid 30s, I have one, maybe two people who actively try to hang out with me every once in a while. Other than that, the other people I would consider friends only hang out with me if I am the one inviting them. I still invite them because if I didn't, I'm not sure I would ever leave my apartment.

Sometimes I try to reconnect with people on Facebook, but the people I try to reconnect with always have some reason to go after roughly 5 minutes of conversation. It makes me wonder why we are still Facebook friends. Why follow someone you don't really care about anymore? So many people complain about how hard it is to make friends when you are older, but when someone tries to talk to them, they turn away. It doesn't help that I am not good around people, so maybe the issue lies with me. Maybe I’m just not very pleasant to be around in general.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Favorite Sound & Smell

My second most favorite sound is the steady pat pat pat of rain drops crashing into the earth. The rain can't be too heavy or too light, it has to be just right, and it must maintain consistency. My favorite sound is nothing. Late at night when you go outside and there are no cars, no people, nothing man-made running and all you hear is the sound of nothing. Time stops for me for whatever reason when I hear nothing and I love it.  Right now there's not a sound going on outside my apartment and it's music to my ears. My favorite smell is the aroma of morning. It reminds me of getting up and waiting for the school bus in my elementary school days. There is also just something about the morning smell that smells so good. There is probably a scientific answer as to what it is, but I'm not sure of what it is. It's unfortunate that I am not a morning person.
Read more

End it Please

So it's still going with Toronto girl. Today marks exactly 2 months since we matched on Facebook dating. She continues to ignore any message that is even slighty flirtatious. When she does find a topic she wants to talk about then she'll reply with meaninginful messages, but if the topic I bring up isn't that exciting she'll straight up just ignore me. I wish I had more self respect so I could just end this myself, but I don't, so I can't. This is all I have and if it ends I'll go back to having nothing. I hate myself for letting myself be strung along like this. I hate myself for being so undesirable. I hate myself for not being able to connect with people. It seems like she is trying to get me to be bored and just let our conversation slow fade. I am not going to let that happen though! I am tired of this slow fade, ghosting, whatever else shit. Just come out and say you're not feeling it. I don't know why she continues to let this drag ...
Read more

It Goes On

 These blog posts never seem to change in tone. I'm on some meds and in a boot for my feet issue.  I don't think it's working as my feet still hurt and I see no real improvement.  I am going to try more stuff, but I wonder if hurt feet is just my reality from now on. Over the last month or so I got 3 matches on Facebook dating.  They all live in Seattle with me in Vancouver.  One was 4.5 hours away, the other was 3, the other a little over 2.  The 3 hour away one fizzled for seemingly no reason after she seemed fine to have a date just that weekend.  The 4.5 hour away one fizzled after figuring out how far away I was.  She never looked at my profile and figured it out??  I was still willing to try too.  Over a month later I'm still talking to the 2 hour one, but it feels like if I don't say interesting things she'll take days to reply.  I feel no real interest coming from her and it's just a matter of time before I get blocked....
Read more