Blueberry Pancakes

Today I was on Facebook and saw a comment on a friend’s post from someone I used to know in elementary school. That got me searching for other people that I remembered from elementary school. I didn't add or message any of them, but I did look on their pages to see how they were doing. Most seem to be doing OK which made me smile. It seems that when nothing exciting is happening in my life I like to look at the past and the good memories that come with it. Not that the past was perfect or anything, but just being able to remember the fun memories makes it a good rabbit hole to go down. Merry Christmas! I didn't do anything special, just went to my parents’ place for dinner and presents. Due to covid we couldn't really get together with anyone else, but it was nice just to see my parents. They cooked a delicious dinner and their presents to me were awesome.  Somehow they have managed to bring in an entire duck colony to feed. There is anywhere up to 50 ducks at a time. Wildl...

 Lately due to covid getting out of control again, we have been allowed to work at home if we can. Of course, we are still often going in, but now we aren't really required to show up at 8:00 AM even if we still have to clock in at that time. Being able to sleep in an extra 20 to 30 minutes has really improved my quality of life. The night owl in me really hates waking up so early and it's going to be hard to go back to going into the office all the time. Personally, I hate the small talk and answering the questions of “what did you do this weekend?” or “good morning, how are you?” A nice raise is coming to me this year so I guess I can't complain too much.  They have found and approved a vaccine for covid. Health care workers should be getting it soon so I am hoping to get mine. They still aren't sure if you can transmit the disease even after you have been vaccinated so I still won't be able to travel anywhere with restrictions. I hope I can get over to Taiwan soo...

Not sure how it's going to go but I've started talking to my friend about a business in buying real estate. We would buy houses and then rent them out to tenants. Hopefully we could get enough houses that we would have a solid line of real estate investments. Again, I'm not sure how far we will get into this, but real estate is always a solid investment so I'm hoping this goes well. Covid is still going strong, in fact it's stronger now in the US than it has been at any other time due to winter and people staying inside. They have supposedly found a vaccine that is set to be approved in the coming weeks with it going out to normal folk next year. It would be nice, I would like to do some traveling and be able to hug my parents again without fear of giving them the virus. Here’s hoping.

When you're in school it seems so easy to make friends. You are all forced to be at the same place for roughly 8 hours or more a day. It just seems natural that you would become friends with people around you. After school ends though, there isn't a whole lot holding you and your friends together, so oftentimes you slowly drift apart. Maybe you meet occasionally, but even that seems to slow down to a stop. In my mid 30s, I have one, maybe two people who actively try to hang out with me every once in a while. Other than that, the other people I would consider friends only hang out with me if I am the one inviting them. I still invite them because if I didn't, I'm not sure I would ever leave my apartment. Sometimes I try to reconnect with people on Facebook, but the people I try to reconnect with always have some reason to go after roughly 5 minutes of conversation. It makes me wonder why we are still Facebook friends. Why follow someone you don't really care about an...

I have a tradition that when I leave a place I have lived in for the final time, I stand in the doorway and just relive all the memories of that place. I then thank that place, and bow to it in gratitude. I am very thankful for all the memories and for allowing me to live with one of my best friends for three years. It was fun, and it's unfortunate that good times must come to an end, but such is life.  Thank you Campus Park Apartments #216. Fortunately, I found an apartment just down the street that is even closer to my work that I was before. Instead of a 10 minute walk, it's now a 6 minute walk. Instead of a 3 minute drive, it's now a 2 minute drive. 2020 has been an interesting year, but hopefully I can make some magic happen with these remaining three months.

The entire west coast seems to be on fire. I keep checking the evacuation maps to see how close it's getting to my parents. My friend Ike has already evacuated his home in Estacada with his family. Even up here in Vancouver the skies are filled with ash that is snowing down even though we aren't all that close to the fires. The year keeps getting crazier it seems like. On a positive note, I did manage to make a chicken and kimchi dish that I really like.

My second most favorite sound is the steady pat pat pat of rain drops crashing into the earth. The rain can't be too heavy or too light, it has to be just right, and it must maintain consistency. My favorite sound is nothing. Late at night when you go outside and there are no cars, no people, nothing man-made running and all you hear is the sound of nothing. Time stops for me for whatever reason when I hear nothing and I love it.  Right now there's not a sound going on outside my apartment and it's music to my ears. My favorite smell is the aroma of morning. It reminds me of getting up and waiting for the school bus in my elementary school days. There is also just something about the morning smell that smells so good. There is probably a scientific answer as to what it is, but I'm not sure of what it is. It's unfortunate that I am not a morning person.

 Every Sunday my roommate and I have a tradition of playing video games together in the evening. Yesterday was the last time that I played video games with my roommate. Of course, we will definitely play video games together in the future, but it won't be as roommates. He has had a dream of living on his own since he was in high school and now, he thinks he has the ability to do so. I wish him well, even though I'm not entirely sure how smart of an idea that is. I say this as I know exactly what his pay is since I am the financial manager at the company he works for. No matter though, if he wants to try it then I wish him well. I'm also kind of excited to start living on my own. Having a roommate means there are a lot of considerations you need to pay attention to in order to keep harmony with your roommate. Now that I will be living alone, I only need to worry about myself. Having lived by myself before, it's very nice.  I have this thing where I really just like to ta...

Lately my wrists have been in bad shape so I haven't been posting as much. I'm trying to lessen my typing. Covid 19 is still going as strong as ever in America so things are still locked down although we can eat at restaurants if the restaurants are at 50% capacity. I got a new camera, the Sony A7R iii. I really like it, it takes much better pictures in low light and it's mirrorless. I also started looking up YouTube videos on how to learn new things. I am thinking of trying to learn how to draw, sing, and maybe learn popping. The last one is a suggestion from my friend so I thought I might give it a try.  My boss suggested he wanted to be done with his company in about 10 years. He asked if I would be interested in buying it from him along with a few other people who have been with the company for a while. I'm definitely interested as having my own business has been my dream for forever, even if I don't end up starting it myself, which I might not at this rate.  It...

In high school you'd always get these surveys on the internet and I always hated doing them, but now it seems fun.  It's a good way to get to know yourself.  Sometimes I feel like I don't know myself very well, so I'm giving this a try. Food and Drink Favorite fast food restaurant?- Taco Bell Favorite ice cream flavor?- Cheesecake Favorite chocolate candy?- Kit Kat* Favorite flavor Starburst?- Pink or red one Favorite dish at Olive Garden?- Lasagna Favorite kind of sushi?- Salmon Favorite Asian dish?- Sushi/ramen Favorite food of all time?- Sushi/steak Favorite way to cook a steak?- Medium rare Favorite pasta dish?- Alfredo Favorite fast food French fries?- McDonald's Favorite breakfast food?- Scrambled eggs Favorite fruit?- Strawberry Favorite vegetable?- Potatoes (smashed) Favorite dessert?- Cheesecake Favorite comfort food?- Ice cream Favorite dish at Thanksgiving?- Stuffing Favorite cake?- Cheesecake Favorite alcoholic drink?- Whiskey or rum...

My work wants us to submit a video showing what we're doing during quarantine.  Here's my video 😁  Dustin's video I want the pandemic to end, I want to do some traveling and I miss eating out at restaurants.  Even though I only went by myself, I liked finding new places.  I wonder what places will survive all of this.  Most of the ones I get take out from have said their numbers are down.  Please pull through!  I'll get more take out from you! I got some extra lenses that are arriving in about a week.  They won't make me a better photographer but I'm quite excited to try them out.  I have too many lenses as it is that I don't really know how to use haha.  I'm also learning palm reading so that should be fun.  I wonder what my life and love line says...

I had a date today with a girl named Bonnie.  As usual I got friend zoned afterwards, but it didn't bother me as much as it has in the past, probably because I fully expected it.  In fact I'm more bothered by how little it bothers me.  Maybe I've just dropped all expectations that anyone will ever see me as a romantic partner.  Maybe I'm just dead inside, which honestly would be great.  I guess the worst part is that it starts out great conversation wise.  We chat up a storm.  She's excited to meet me.  Then we meet for the date and that kills it.  I get ghosted or friend zoned.  Am I really such a terrible person to date?  And yes, I went on a date during a pandemic because for me a shot at love is worth potentially dying for right now.  I'm serious.  Ah freaking A, my loneliness is driving me insane. When I was really young I used to think the female voice was so heavenly sounding that I believed every woman could sing...

Parasite is a great movie.  I'm really glad Korean cinema is starting to gain traction in America.  They make a lot of great movies over there and it's been Asia's secret that America is just now starting to discover. I used to go to the movie theater alone.  I don't have a lot of friends and the ones I do have are often busy, so I go by myself.  Lately I can't do that.  It feels weird not being able to go places even though I didn't get out much.  I wonder how long it'll last.  I like going out to see movies.  It's overly expensive but the atmosphere and big screen is what you're paying for.  I hope one day I can bring my girlfriend. What is your most attractive feature?  I was watching a movie that asked that and I'm not sure about mine.  Never having a real relationship or girls that were really interested in me, I've never had the chance to find out.  I think it might be my sense of humor, but I don't know.  Maybe ...

If I buy ice cream I usually just have one bowl.  Tonight I decided to have a second bowl.  There are times in life where you just have to give in to being fat!  It's ok, these things happen sometimes.  I am proud of myself for having the willpower to resist a 3rd bowl.  I really wanted to, you know! I used to take walks around my place.  There's some nice places around.  I started again since you can't really go anywhere.  Here's a video of the place I like to walk I finished watching a kind of short TV series where the main character was hiding the fact that she likes death metal music from everyone.  That was her release though, liking death metal music was who she really was.  I wonder what parts of their personality people are hiding from everyone.  I tried to think about what I'm hiding and maybe it's just that I like being more quiet.  Actually I'm pretty quiet usually, but I joke around a lot.  I'm more calm ...

The CDC (Center for Disease Control & Prevention) recently recommended that people start wearing masks out in public.  Since I started wearing one I'm surprised at how much more calm I feel wearing it.  Not because I think it'll keep me safe from the Corona virus though, I know it won't.  It's because it covers a lot of my face.  My face is the ugliest part about me unfortunately but covering it up gives me more confidence.  I kind of wish I could just always wear this thing. When my friend Grace came over in January I bought her some body wash and shampoo she could use.  Now my stuff has run out so I've been using her stuff.  Women's stuff is so nice to use.  Men's body wash just smells like some manly thing but women have all this different stuff theirs smells like.  Now after every shower I smell like coconuts and it's awesome.  Maybe I just switch over to using women's body wash from now on?  Why can't men have cool body w...

So much time at home has given me the perfect opportunity to start on a project I've wanted to do for some years now.  When someone is dying of a disease, they have the chance to record videos and audio samples,  write letters and leave gifts behind.  When you die of something like a car accident, you don't get that opportunity.  In case I die early, I wanted to leave things behind for my family and friends. I've already recorded videos saying goodbye to everyone I'm close with in my life.  I've already written (typed) them letters saying additional things.  Maybe I'll find pictures and put them on the flash drives I've made for everyone.  To whoever ends up finding the stash, they'll find my Facebook login so hopefully they can post one last status update.  It would be very unfortunate if I died in a house fire at my place haha! It's weird saying goodbye to people when I'm not really close to death.  I rewatched some of the videos and I'...

Hi Grace :) Over the past few months Covid-19 has infected people with the Corona Virus.  It's just a virus, but people have cleaned out the stores of toilet paper, ramen, hand sanitizers and other cleaning supplies, milk, eggs, rice, canned vegetables, and who knows what else.  There is no drought or shortage of anything so the hoarding is unnecessary.  Seems a little silly but people are panicking.  All entertainment places have been shut down and restaurants are take-out and delivery only now.  The virus seems to largely be affecting the elderly and those with compromised immune systems.  Hope I don't die! My work started letting (making) us work from home though so that's been nice.  I lose track of the days since I'm at home a lot now.  I was looking at things to do on Meetup as I figured I should try to get out more and meet people, but that's been put on hold for a bit.  The food bank I'm trying to volunteer at never messaged me ba...

I've always felt like something has been missing in my life for the past who knows how many years.  I feel empty. I think despite having hobbies I'm missing purpose.  I want something to work towards that's bigger than myself, but I have no idea what that might be.  If I find it and have a way to work towards it I'll feel more complete I think.  I'm selfish, I can't join a purpose, I have to lead it.  My self confidence in that is... What could it be that I'm searching for?  Am I going to find it before it's too late?  Is there a too late? To be honest I'm also not sure if I'm just confusing missing purpose and being lonely.  You can't tell girls these things either because no one wants to date that haha.  I think working towards something would be good though.  If I keep up the search I think I'll find it eventually.  Who knows, maybe I've already found it.

"If I could do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing." I always believed this phrase was so stupid because it downplayed the regrets that one had.  Regrets aren't a bad thing, they are very natural as we don't always make the optimal choices and realizing that and wishing we could have done better is what makes us stronger as a person. I'm listing my regrets so I remember and learn.  In no order: I wish I wouldn't have interrupted Alicia when she said something to me in the 4th or 5th grade.  I wonder what she was going to say.  Why do I even remember this haha I wish I wouldn't have swiped angrily at my cat Bart when he wouldn't come out from hiding.  I wonder if that's what scared him away.  I'm too scared to get angry at people because I feel they will go away from me because of this. I wish I would have asked Helen or Hannah out in high school.  I doubt they would have said yes but I should have tried anyway. I wish I wo...

A conversation I had with a co-worker when I was 35: Her: So what are you doing this weekend? Me: Seeing a friend. Her: What are you doing? Me: Probably just grabbing a drink. Her: Not doing anything else? Me: Probably not. Her: Dustin you're so secretive Me: ...Am I? Not on purpose, but this conversation made me realize that I don't let people in to meet me.  I never talk about what I'm doing and if I do it's very to the point, devoid of feelings or personality.  I never talk about how I feel or my dreams or my regrets.  I wonder if this is why I don't have many friends left, or why even with the dates I get, no one wants to meet up a second time. I have no real secrets to tell people.  My friend revealed a very personal secret to me just a few weeks ago, but I had nothing to offer in return.  I felt absolutely terrible.  I almost wish something had happened to me earlier so I would have something to share.  I know that sounds bad.  ...

"Don't worry." "It'll happen when you least expect it." "It'll happen when you're not looking for it." "You just gotta get out there!" "You're a great guy." "Any girl would be lucky to have you." "Single life is great, right?" "You should be happy by yourself first." "You'll find someone." The other day I was talking with my friend, he said some of those things to me.  I'm thankful for the good intentions if nothing else, but at 36 with no real success in my romantic life ever, it all just feels so empty.  Like some tools used to get me to stop talking about it.  Not surprisingly, he's in a relationship, and people in relationships seem to understand the least. The only 2 girlfriends I've had in my life I usually don't even count.  The 1st was in Korea and it was never going to work out from the beginning, our futures were too different.  She sai...

I can never seem to update this regularly.  Not like there's a lot to update usually anyhow.  I felt a little depressed back in November but Grace Yang messaged me and said she would come to visit in January.  She has talked for years about coming here and I never helped her with that and I never talked about visiting her.  I regret being a bad friend to her, and yet she still talked about coming here.  Thank you Grace, I will be better. She did come, from January 20th to the 29th.  I met back up with Kathy after a long time also.  What a great 10 days, it's the happiest I've been in years.  We went to PSU and a bookstore (we forgot to get the dirty book!), a cat show, and we went hiking in the rain.  Among other things but I'll remember that.  I wanted to keep seeing her, but there is a distance we can't jump over.  Some things can only be left to dreams I guess.  Come back soon!  Or rather, I'll see you in May.... I th...