Online Dating

 

A nice conversation I had

There is a cycle where every couple of months either one of two things happen. I either feel so very desperate or I feel a little bit of confidence. Either way, I get inspired to once again try online dating despite the fact that whenever I do try it, it is the most soul crushing and depressing thing that I have ever done in my life. No exaggeration. So this month I spent around $500 signing up to online dating sites again. Amazingly, I actually got a few of the girls I messaged to reply to me. I got one date where she immediately unmatched afterwards and currently I'm talking to two girls who don't seem all that interested in me. All in all, online dating has once again been a failure, but what can I really do.


I have narrowed down the reasons I am still single to a couple of things. One, just to get it out of the way, I am not attractive. I also have very poor social skills and even worse romantic skills. This makes it basically impossible to form any real connection so it's no wonder that girls never want to see me again after the first date. It is easy to be friendly with me, difficult to be friends with me and nearly impossible to be romantic with me. I have heard that people with autism often have trouble making connections with others, so maybe I am on the spectrum. Whatever it is, at 37.5 years old, I am still single and it feels like a 10 lb. weight on my shoulders. People tell me this and that, but it all sounds so empty when it comes from people who are easily able to get dates and partners. It sounds like someone who makes $200,000 a year saying to someone who makes minimum wage that they should just save money and then they can retire early. Sure, you're right, but that doesn't make it any easier for the person making minimum wage. I was told to be unapologetically myself. I think that's the issue, actually. I am myself and girls are not looking for a guy like me. It is so very lonely.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

End it Please

So it's still going with Toronto girl. Today marks exactly 2 months since we matched on Facebook dating. She continues to ignore any message that is even slighty flirtatious. When she does find a topic she wants to talk about then she'll reply with meaninginful messages, but if the topic I bring up isn't that exciting she'll straight up just ignore me. I wish I had more self respect so I could just end this myself, but I don't, so I can't. This is all I have and if it ends I'll go back to having nothing. I hate myself for letting myself be strung along like this. I hate myself for being so undesirable. I hate myself for not being able to connect with people. It seems like she is trying to get me to be bored and just let our conversation slow fade. I am not going to let that happen though! I am tired of this slow fade, ghosting, whatever else shit. Just come out and say you're not feeling it. I don't know why she continues to let this drag ...
Read more

Favorite Sound & Smell

My second most favorite sound is the steady pat pat pat of rain drops crashing into the earth. The rain can't be too heavy or too light, it has to be just right, and it must maintain consistency. My favorite sound is nothing. Late at night when you go outside and there are no cars, no people, nothing man-made running and all you hear is the sound of nothing. Time stops for me for whatever reason when I hear nothing and I love it.  Right now there's not a sound going on outside my apartment and it's music to my ears. My favorite smell is the aroma of morning. It reminds me of getting up and waiting for the school bus in my elementary school days. There is also just something about the morning smell that smells so good. There is probably a scientific answer as to what it is, but I'm not sure of what it is. It's unfortunate that I am not a morning person.
Read more

Quarantine Video

My work wants us to submit a video showing what we're doing during quarantine.  Here's my video 😁  Dustin's video I want the pandemic to end, I want to do some traveling and I miss eating out at restaurants.  Even though I only went by myself, I liked finding new places.  I wonder what places will survive all of this.  Most of the ones I get take out from have said their numbers are down.  Please pull through!  I'll get more take out from you! I got some extra lenses that are arriving in about a week.  They won't make me a better photographer but I'm quite excited to try them out.  I have too many lenses as it is that I don't really know how to use haha.  I'm also learning palm reading so that should be fun.  I wonder what my life and love line says...
Read more