Blueberry Pancakes

So it's still going with Toronto girl. Today marks exactly 2 months since we matched on Facebook dating. She continues to ignore any message that is even slighty flirtatious. When she does find a topic she wants to talk about then she'll reply with meaninginful messages, but if the topic I bring up isn't that exciting she'll straight up just ignore me. I wish I had more self respect so I could just end this myself, but I don't, so I can't. This is all I have and if it ends I'll go back to having nothing. I hate myself for letting myself be strung along like this. I hate myself for being so undesirable. I hate myself for not being able to connect with people. It seems like she is trying to get me to be bored and just let our conversation slow fade. I am not going to let that happen though! I am tired of this slow fade, ghosting, whatever else shit. Just come out and say you're not feeling it. I don't know why she continues to let this drag ...

 2 hours hasn't said anything to me since Thursday and it's now Sunday afternoon.  Before that it was nearly 2 days since she responded.  She stopped sending pictures and memes a week ago.  She was attending an event this weekend, but she's uploaded stories to Facebook so it's not like she didn't have time to respond.  She also viewed my messages soon after I sent them and has been on messenger plenty of times (I check a lot because I'm dumb).  I'm pretty sure I'm just being ghosted at this point. I wish I could take the angle of me just overthinking things, but this is always how it goes.  I wish I could find a girl who is as interested in talking to me as I am talking to her.  This girl likes anime, video games and Asian guys and I had a month and a half of chatting and couldn't even secure a date.  She even liked me first on FB dating.  This is the most disappointing one that got away.  If I couldn't even secure a date with ...

 These blog posts never seem to change in tone. I'm on some meds and in a boot for my feet issue.  I don't think it's working as my feet still hurt and I see no real improvement.  I am going to try more stuff, but I wonder if hurt feet is just my reality from now on. Over the last month or so I got 3 matches on Facebook dating.  They all live in Seattle with me in Vancouver.  One was 4.5 hours away, the other was 3, the other a little over 2.  The 3 hour away one fizzled for seemingly no reason after she seemed fine to have a date just that weekend.  The 4.5 hour away one fizzled after figuring out how far away I was.  She never looked at my profile and figured it out??  I was still willing to try too.  Over a month later I'm still talking to the 2 hour one, but it feels like if I don't say interesting things she'll take days to reply.  I feel no real interest coming from her and it's just a matter of time before I get blocked....