Blueberry Pancakes

A conversation I had with a co-worker when I was 35: Her: So what are you doing this weekend? Me: Seeing a friend. Her: What are you doing? Me: Probably just grabbing a drink. Her: Not doing anything else? Me: Probably not. Her: Dustin you're so secretive Me: ...Am I? Not on purpose, but this conversation made me realize that I don't let people in to meet me.  I never talk about what I'm doing and if I do it's very to the point, devoid of feelings or personality.  I never talk about how I feel or my dreams or my regrets.  I wonder if this is why I don't have many friends left, or why even with the dates I get, no one wants to meet up a second time. I have no real secrets to tell people.  My friend revealed a very personal secret to me just a few weeks ago, but I had nothing to offer in return.  I felt absolutely terrible.  I almost wish something had happened to me earlier so I would have something to share.  I know that sounds bad.  ...

"Don't worry." "It'll happen when you least expect it." "It'll happen when you're not looking for it." "You just gotta get out there!" "You're a great guy." "Any girl would be lucky to have you." "Single life is great, right?" "You should be happy by yourself first." "You'll find someone." The other day I was talking with my friend, he said some of those things to me.  I'm thankful for the good intentions if nothing else, but at 36 with no real success in my romantic life ever, it all just feels so empty.  Like some tools used to get me to stop talking about it.  Not surprisingly, he's in a relationship, and people in relationships seem to understand the least. The only 2 girlfriends I've had in my life I usually don't even count.  The 1st was in Korea and it was never going to work out from the beginning, our futures were too different.  She sai...