Blueberry Pancakes

So much time at home has given me the perfect opportunity to start on a project I've wanted to do for some years now.  When someone is dying of a disease, they have the chance to record videos and audio samples,  write letters and leave gifts behind.  When you die of something like a car accident, you don't get that opportunity.  In case I die early, I wanted to leave things behind for my family and friends. I've already recorded videos saying goodbye to everyone I'm close with in my life.  I've already written (typed) them letters saying additional things.  Maybe I'll find pictures and put them on the flash drives I've made for everyone.  To whoever ends up finding the stash, they'll find my Facebook login so hopefully they can post one last status update.  It would be very unfortunate if I died in a house fire at my place haha! It's weird saying goodbye to people when I'm not really close to death.  I rewatched some of the videos and I'...

Hi Grace :) Over the past few months Covid-19 has infected people with the Corona Virus.  It's just a virus, but people have cleaned out the stores of toilet paper, ramen, hand sanitizers and other cleaning supplies, milk, eggs, rice, canned vegetables, and who knows what else.  There is no drought or shortage of anything so the hoarding is unnecessary.  Seems a little silly but people are panicking.  All entertainment places have been shut down and restaurants are take-out and delivery only now.  The virus seems to largely be affecting the elderly and those with compromised immune systems.  Hope I don't die! My work started letting (making) us work from home though so that's been nice.  I lose track of the days since I'm at home a lot now.  I was looking at things to do on Meetup as I figured I should try to get out more and meet people, but that's been put on hold for a bit.  The food bank I'm trying to volunteer at never messaged me ba...

I've always felt like something has been missing in my life for the past who knows how many years.  I feel empty. I think despite having hobbies I'm missing purpose.  I want something to work towards that's bigger than myself, but I have no idea what that might be.  If I find it and have a way to work towards it I'll feel more complete I think.  I'm selfish, I can't join a purpose, I have to lead it.  My self confidence in that is... What could it be that I'm searching for?  Am I going to find it before it's too late?  Is there a too late? To be honest I'm also not sure if I'm just confusing missing purpose and being lonely.  You can't tell girls these things either because no one wants to date that haha.  I think working towards something would be good though.  If I keep up the search I think I'll find it eventually.  Who knows, maybe I've already found it.

"If I could do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing." I always believed this phrase was so stupid because it downplayed the regrets that one had.  Regrets aren't a bad thing, they are very natural as we don't always make the optimal choices and realizing that and wishing we could have done better is what makes us stronger as a person. I'm listing my regrets so I remember and learn.  In no order: I wish I wouldn't have interrupted Alicia when she said something to me in the 4th or 5th grade.  I wonder what she was going to say.  Why do I even remember this haha I wish I wouldn't have swiped angrily at my cat Bart when he wouldn't come out from hiding.  I wonder if that's what scared him away.  I'm too scared to get angry at people because I feel they will go away from me because of this. I wish I would have asked Helen or Hannah out in high school.  I doubt they would have said yes but I should have tried anyway. I wish I wo...